Santa's Got A Potty Mouth

Oh boy, y'all gonna love today's special Xmas package.

But first, a warning. Generally these mp3's will be available for only a week. I've left those over a week old up for now to give all y'all a chance to grab 'em. But tomorrow morning, any posts over a week old will lose their, ahem, downloadability. But fret not, ye merry gentlemen and women, if you missed anything this year or in previous years, you can always request a re-post! There's a few slots left, so get yr orders in early! Heck, we've got a superb re-post today at this the end of the post that's sure to warm yr Grinch-like little hearts.

Getting grandly greasy today.

First up is one of our favorite musicians, The Legendary Tiger Man, with perhaps the greatest Christmas song ever. Ok, maybe not greatest, but it sure is super swell, and it's got a dirty word in it.

We'll follow that up with The Reining Sound, featuring Eric Cartwright, who was formerly known as Eric Oblivian when he played in a little band you may have heard us mention round these parts, The Oblivians. They've got a nifty little Country-tinged ode to Holiday loneliness to share with us today.

Disgruntled Santa!


The Legendary Tiger Man: Fuck Christmas, I Got The Blues (mp3)

Reigning Sound: If Christmas Can't Bring You Home (mp3)

Re-Post(By Request!):

The Dalhart Imperials: Old Man Spivey's Egg Nog (mp3)

Please support your local, independent bell ringers.

A Chilly Santa

Before diving into the stocking for more tasty gifts, we'd like to pause a moment to wish Mr. Tom Waits a very happy birthday. He turns 59 today.

Our apologies for missing a day. We've been a bit under the weather. But, hey, considering our usual pace, we've been doing pretty good with this daily thing.

Today's Holiday treat comes to us all the way from New Zealand, courtesy of the almighty Chills. We don't spend near enough time talking about New Zealand/Flying Nun music (The Verlaines, Tall Dwarfs, god's favorite band The Clean, etc.). There's something very Autumnal/Wintry about the music coming out of that there little island, and The Chills are one of our favorites.

"Christmas Chimes" is a shimmering, organ drenched ode to Holiday sadness. "Special Time" ratchets up a Velvet Underground drone into a Yuletide rave-up. With lines about drinking too much. You don't get much better than The Chills.

Also, we've got a couple of specially requested re-posts from The Fall. Oh my, yes.

Santa rocks Down Under!


The Chills: Christmas Chimes (mp3)

The Chills: Special Time (mp3)

Re-post (by request!)

The Fall: No Christmas For John Quays (mp3)

The Fall: (We Wish You) A Protein Christmas (mp3)

Please support your local, independent egg nog makers.

Santa's Rod

Hoo boy, we've got to recover from yesterday.

How about a little Holiday Hot Rod Hootenanny to rev up yr Seasonal spirits? That sounds about right. And for our re-post (by request!) bonus, a little Tinsel Truckin' Tunage from a couple of Semi legends. Oh yes.

First out of the gates is Deke Dickerson's legendary rock'n'surfin' Untamed Youth with a rubber burnin' Christmas classic. The Hot Rods are a car-length behind, warning us about Santa's little problem. But will it stop him from doing his job? And third by a hair are The Four Imperials who are keenly aware of just how stylin' Santa Claus can be.


Santa's A Rockin' Roadmaster!

Untamed Youth: Santa's Gonna Shut 'Em Down (mp3)

The Hot Rods: Santa's Too Drunk To Drive (mp3)

The Four Imperials: Santa's Got A Coupe de Ville (mp3)

Re-Posts (by request):

Red Simpson: Truckin' Trees For Christmas (mp3)

Red Simpson: Santa's Comin' In A Big Ol' Truck (mp3)

Dave Dudley: Six Tons of Toys (mp3)

Please support your local grease monkey.

Christmas In Heaven

Jingle bells, Batman smells...

Now that we've got that little round of juvenalia out of the way, let's talk turkey. Christmas turkeys. We don't normally approve of novelty songs, but we had a relatively positive response last year when we posted a few "talking" songs. These are Christmas tunes that are so horribly sentimental, so full of pathos, that they become unintentionally hilarious, and, in some ways, become great.

Seems it's the old-timey Country folks who are the worst abusers of this brand of hanky waving. Today we've got Stonewall Jackson making Santa cry, Eddie Bond "celebrates" the dearly departed at Christmas, and Charlie Louvin of The Louvin Brothers brings the syrup to the infirm at Yuletide. While all of these are horribly wrong, the worst offender is Eddie Stubbs, who talks us through a song so vile, you'll be trying to rip your ears off just to make it end. Highly recommended!

Things improve greatly tomorrow, we promise. And there's a bonus re-post at the end that should truly brighten everyone's day.

The following are sorted by degree of terrifying horribleness, from least to worst.

Fa la la...

Stonewall Jackson: Mommy, Look Santa Is Crying (mp3)

Eddie Bond: Christmas In Heaven (mp3)

Charlie Louvin: Shut In At Christmas (mp3)

Eddie Stubbs: Little Orphan Joe (mp3)

Re-Post Request:

Mae West: Put The Loot In The Boot Santa (mp3)

Things get better tomorrow. 'Til then, support yr local Kleenex manufacturer.

Holy Santa!

Did you make your re-post request yet? No? Well, time's running out. I aint gonna be generous forever, you know. Me am big angry Grinch. Well, not really, but if you don't ask, you can't get.

Now then, everybody knows that Santa is a god-fearin' man, damnit. And we've got the right and righteous Rev.'s J.M. Gates, A.W. Nix, and Edward W. Clayborn to put us on the proper path to Holiday salvation. It's a swingin', sweatin', shoutin', swayin', amen hollerin', goin' straight to hell good time. Perfect for closing out your Yuletide party, and sending folks home with a spring in their step, and the chain of guilt and depression in their hearts.

Can I get a Holiday hallelujah?


Rev. J.M. Gates: Did You Spend Christmas Day In Jail (mp3)

Rev. A.W. Nix: Death Might Be Your Christmas Gift (mp3)

Rev. Edward W. Clayborn: The Wrong Way To Celebrate Christmas (mp3)

Re-Post, by request:

Jerry Reed: Christmas Time's A Coming (mp3)

Things get really bad tomorrow. But after that, we're gonna have the rock'n'roll the kids love so much. Yep.

Santa Is A Weatherman

Hey, folks, thanks for coming back. Please be sure to check the sidebar for links to more "non-traditional" Holiday music sites. I personally recommend each and every one of 'em.

And don't forget to request a re-post from any previous years' Holiday postings. We're in a giving mood here at the snow-capped Chicago Mountain.

So, let's go traveling, honky-tonk style, today. To the biggest states in the Union.

One of the holy three of Hanks, Mr. Hank Thompson takes us beyond the lower 48 to a land where it's Christmas everyday. Don't tell the kids about this.

Texas swing revivalists Asleep At The Wheel heat things up a bit with a trip down, well, Texas way, covering a classic Ernest Tubb tune.

It's Frosty and Toasty!


Hank Thompson: It's Christmas Every Day In Alaska (mp3)

Asleep At The Wheel: Merry Texas Christmas Y'all (mp3)

Re-Posts:

Wanda Jackson: Rockabilly Santa Claus (mp3)

Wanda Jackson: Blues For Christmas (mp3)

Please support your local, independent aluminum Christmas tree dealer. Right off the back of the truck.

Flat Duo Xmas

More joy for yr stockings!

But wait, there's more: As we've noted before, this our fifth year of this insanity, and we've consciously attempted to not repeat any tunes from previous Holidays postings. Well, we got to thinking...There's some pretty swell songs we've posted in the past, and folks who haven't been with us the whole time might not have had the chance to hear some of those nifty tunes, outside of the mixes we presented last year.
So in the spirit of the season, we want to give you the chance to hear some of those festive tracks. Each day we're gonna toss in a bonus "repost" of a requested Holiday tune we've posted in days gone by. And that's the key word: requested. Your job, faithful readers, is to let us know what songs you'd like. It's as easy as scrolling through our old posts (November and December) and asking for it, preferably in the comments area. We aim to please.

Now, weren't you here for some Yuletide goodness? Thought so.

We love us some rock'n'billy'n'country'n'trash Flat Duo Jets, featuring the mighty guitar-slingin', backwoods croonin' Dexter Romweber. The band has two nifty Xmas 7"'s wandering around out there in snowglobe land. One's on Norton, which we'll get to later on. But today, we want to feature their Dexmas 7". Two fantastic slices of junkyard holiday joy. Especially...for you.

Rockin' the big red bag!

Flat Duo Jets: It's Christmas Time (Yeah We're Gonna Rock) (mp3)

Flat Duo Jets: Christmas Time, 4 am New Orleans (mp3)

Please seriously consider dropping some coin into those ubiquitous red buckets this year. Times are tough, but if you can afford internet connection, maybe you've got an extra dollar to help someone out this year. Thanks.

Xmas Present Blues

A little Holiday Blues today. Gonna mix the genres up a bit more in future posts, but we figgered we'd kick off our first three posts with the general template of what you're gonna find 'round these here parts.

The following tracks are not exactly outright naughty, but are suggestive enough to give you an idea what these two fellers really want for Christmas. Something about coming down your chimney and giving you a present. Mmmm hmmm.

King of innuendo Bo Carter has and appetite that only Santa can help him out with. Not sure if he's assuming the voice of someone else, or if there's something more interesting going on here.

Jimmy Reed brings his swampy electric Blues funk to the house for what seems to be a very private Yuletide party.

Santa Claus got stuck in the chimney!

Bo Carter: Santa Claus (mp3)

Jimmy Reed: Xmas Present Blues (mp3)

Please support your local, independent chimney sweeps this festive time of year.

Santa Claus Shufflin' Stagecoach

My, My, hey, hey, ho, ho, Xmas rock will never die.

Erm...well, it's day two of our daily Holiday extravaganza. Now 'til Xmas, kids. All the fave rave yuletide tunes you never knew you loved, 'Til now.

And lest you think we don't know what side our fruitcake is buttered, we've got a couple of hillbilly honky-tonkers for all y'all today. Tomorrow? Who knows what the hell we'll do?

Stay tuned for a special offer on Monday. We're all about the giving here at the Mountain.

Now it's time for that old-timey, scratchy, hillbilly holiday you love so well.

The stagecoach was the original 18-wheeler, dontcha know, and Buck Owens is taking Santa on a special ride.

Honky Tonk legend Tommy Scott, on the other hand, just wants to dance with ol' Santa. Kick out yr boots on the hardwood floor to this'un.


Sweet Sufferin' Santa!

Buck Owens: Santa's Gonna Come In A Stagecoach (mp3)

Tommy Scott: Santa Claus Shuffle (mp3)

Please support your local, independent Honky Tonk Holiday Hoe-Down!

Drinking Up Christmas

Ok. Here we go. Daily Holidays posts from now 'til Xmas Eve. Is it a gimmick? A labor of love? An atonement? Who knows?

What we do know is that we promise to provide you with only the finest in Old-Timey Country, Blues and Garagey Xmas songs. No Silent Nights. No Little Drummer Boys. This is our 5th year with this little project, and we haven't repeated ourselves yet. Let's see if we can continue to hold the line.

Gonna kick off the Holiday joy with a 2-fer, a little nasty trash'n'roll. Get us going with a buzz, as it were.

Nihilist trash merchants,The Dwarves , hit it first with a lovely little tune about the proper way to spend the Holidays.

Then, venerable garage rockers, The Fleshtones, who dropped a brand new record this year, "Stocking Stuffer", weigh in with a nifty little tune which, in keeping with the, ahem, spirit of things, follows up the Dwarves tune with a more sophisticated form of Holiday cheer. Or not at all. They also provide us with "Super Rock Santa", a gloriously fuzzed-out,shouty ode to Santa.

Rock over the North Pole. Rock over Bethlehem.



Dwarves: Drinking Up Christmas (mp3)

The Fleshtones: Champagne of Christmas (mp3)

The Fleshtones: Super Rock Santa (mp3)

Please support your local, independent Ho. Ho Ho.