Thursday, December 04, 2008

Christmas In Heaven





















Jingle bells, Batman smells...

Now that we've got that little round of juvenalia out of the way, let's talk turkey. Christmas turkeys. We don't normally approve of novelty songs, but we had a relatively positive response last year when we posted a few "talking" songs. These are Christmas tunes that are so horribly sentimental, so full of pathos, that they become unintentionally hilarious, and, in some ways, become great.

Seems it's the old-timey Country folks who are the worst abusers of this brand of hanky waving. Today we've got Stonewall Jackson making Santa cry, Eddie Bond "celebrates" the dearly departed at Christmas, and Charlie Louvin of The Louvin Brothers brings the syrup to the infirm at Yuletide. While all of these are horribly wrong, the worst offender is Eddie Stubbs, who talks us through a song so vile, you'll be trying to rip your ears off just to make it end. Highly recommended!

Things improve greatly tomorrow, we promise. And there's a bonus re-post at the end that should truly brighten everyone's day.

The following are sorted by degree of terrifying horribleness, from least to worst.

Fa la la...

Stonewall Jackson: Mommy, Look Santa Is Crying (mp3)

Eddie Bond: Christmas In Heaven (mp3)

Charlie Louvin: Shut In At Christmas (mp3)

Eddie Stubbs: Little Orphan Joe (mp3)

Re-Post Request:

Mae West: Put The Loot In The Boot Santa (mp3)

Things get better tomorrow. 'Til then, support yr local Kleenex manufacturer.

5 comments:

Daniel said...

Today's post and the accompanying image perfectly describe and depict the tune "Little Mary Christmas" by Roger "Hot Dog" Christian. If you don't have it, I'll send it to you. It's a must.

d

Anonymous said...

Amazing stuff. Listened to it all on my way Christmas shopping and it really got me in the mood. Thanks for all the great tunes.

Vaughn said...

That photo with those songs took me to Christmas Town, where the mayor is David Lynch. Creepy, yet fun!
Thanks for all the great tunes.

Sanity Clause said...

Elton Britt singing "Christmas In November" for your Christmas weepie collection. Thanks for the great music!

http://www.mediafire.com/?c3gaxlcvzze

Charlotte Welcher said...

We should give as we would receive, cheerfully, quickly, and without hesitation; for there is no grace in a benefit that sticks to the fingers. Very interesting work.